A New Look on Father's Day

As many of us get ready to celebrate Father’s Day this weekend, I am reminded that there are many of us out there who do not have a “father” to celebrate on this day. Some have fathers who have died, who aren’t around by their choice, or who are around but are definitely not celebrated as being a great father. Over the past week, I have been struggling with this topic and how sometimes I feel so uncomfortable on Father’s Day at church because of all the great fathers out there that are being celebrated and mine is not one of them. My father was far from the man who should be celebrated as being a great dad. I look back on my childhood and realize how awful my father really was . . .you see I had a father who sexually abused me until I was in 6th grade. To this day, I still wake up with nightmares of things that I had encountered in my childhood . . .too many details to relive now. When the truth was revealed, he was arrested and released on bail. My brother and I spent about two weeks in a foster home to keep us safe, in case my father wanted to come after us. I never had a chance to confront my father with his actions because he chose to take his life so that he would not have to deal with the consequences of his sin here on earth. I spent a lot of years hating my father for what he put our family through and for what he did against me. Even after I became a Christian in high school, I still couldn’t get to the place where I could forgive him for what he had done. It wasn’t until I was in college at a Ladies Retreat when I realized that I had never forgiven my father for his actions. We were commissioned to go somewhere private in the woods with sticks or stones. While in the quiet place, we were supposed to name the offense and the offender by each stick and/or stone. Once we named the sin and who it was that had sinned against us, we were supposed to throw the stone and/or stick as far as we could away from us in the woods. When we were all done, we were to leave that offense there and not bring in back with us. It didn’t matter that my father wasn’t alive to hear the words, but I chose right then and there to forgive him for what he had done. It was the hardest thing for me to do, but it was also so freeing. I even had to admit that I didn’t know whether my father was a Christian or not, but I actually prayed that one day I would be able to see him again in heaven. That’s how I knew that I had truly forgiven him. True forgiveness will open your heart to peace and freedom. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every great experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” I said all of that to say this . . . as you celebrate Father’s Day this year with your great fathers, understand that it is not always a celebration for the rest of us for our earthly fathers. I choose to celebrate my Heavenly Father, for He is the perfect Father who I can call “Daddy”! My Heavenly Father has gives me the strength and courage to get through the darkest days. He has allowed these things to happen to me, so that I can relate and help someone else along the way. He has gotten the ultimate victory in my healing. “The Lord is my strength, and my song; he has become my victory. He is my God, and I will praise Him.” (Exodus 15:2 NLT) I choose to celebrate the amazing gift of my husband and father to my three little girls. I was truly blessed when I married him, for he is a great Daddy to our girls and is truly my better half, for he accepts me and loves me for my past, my present, & my future. He loved me when I was unlovable, has loved me in spite of myself, and has helped heal my hurts & my heart! I love you Barry Goss, thank you for blessing my life! If you are in that dark place of unforgiveness and not letting go of the past and all the hurts that are there . . . you need to know there is a hope and healing that can come from Jesus. He is all that you need! There will never be anyone here on earth that can heal you more perfectly, heart, soul, and mind. His blood can wash you clean and make your heart new again. If you have someone in your life that you have not forgiven, now is the time to do it! Do not wait for that person to come to you . . .it is your responsibility to forgive them first! I can truly say now that I am a stronger person because of what I have been through. I am glat that my Jesus' blood can cover a multitude of sins, even abuse!